American Airlines launches “At Least Our Planes Won’t F*cking Kill You” Promotion
FORT WORTH, Texas - In response to rival Southwest Airline’s record $10.2 million FAA fine for severe safety violations, American Airlines introduced their new “At Least Our Planes Won’t Fucking Kill You” promotion. Key features of the new plan include faster checkins, reduced delays, and transporting passengers to the desired destination without plunging them from the sky in a fiery inferno.
Says AA spokesperson Carleen Harris, “Today’s customers are sophisticated individuals with complex needs. Our extensive market research has revealed that customers want fast service and lots of available flights, but above all, we here at American Airlines have discovered that they want planes that won’t fucking kill them.”
In recent years, media darling Southwest Airlines has thrived as their competitors, including American Airlines, have suffered. Southwest’s success is based on a low-cost business model, great corporate culture, shrewd management, and of course, neglecting to properly inspect and service their air fleet.
American Airlines, Southwest Airlines, FAA, Texas, Safety, Inspection
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